Sh!t Gets Real at Home - End of Week 1

I now understand why lack of sleep is considered a form of torture and violates the Geneva Convention. I hadn't really slept at all since Thursday night - I was maybe running on 5-7 hours of sleep when Monday evening rolled around, and now we had to deal with a (really f'n cute) screaming baby who doesn't understand why he isn't in a sack of fluid anymore, much less that daytime = awake time and night time = sleep time. I was never at a point where I was frustrated with him because he had no clue what was going on, and it is as big of a transition for him as it was for us. And you really can never be mad at a baby who looks like this.

It was painful and hard but the best thing to come out of it was the great communication Chris and I shared throughout the whole process. We had to do a lot of trial and error and then discuss what worked, what didn't work, and what we should try next time. We were exhausted and were mentally & physically tested, but we never lashed out at each other. Instead, we both supported each other, and even though my role is a bit more demanding at this point in time because I have the right equipment, my sweet husband never slept through a crying or diaper changing session, sat up with me while I breastfed, went on multiple diaper runs and held my hand through the frustration of feeling like as a mother you cannot comfort your child. He's one of the best people I've ever known, and I've been so grateful for him over the last week. You never think you can love someone more, until you see how much they love a little baby more than you ever thought possible (+500000 pride points).

Grumpy face due to the 22 minutes of sleep and 4am wake-up call. 

Now, you know I have to balance out the sappy I-love-my-husband blah blah blah with some disgusting stuff, so the rest of this post is NSFW - especially for boys.

I had multiple friends and family members who have had children and I've heard my fair share of unpleasantries but nothing ever prepares you for it happening to your body. Check this:

Bleeding, swelling & just all that squish: oh my goodness, this was by far the worst part of post-birth. I honestly had no idea that I would bleed for days after delivery until about a month beforehand when my sister-in-law told me to make sure to pick up maxi pads. Wearing pads just makes me feel like a schoolgirl again, recalling the time of innocence when my mom would only buy me pads for periods. It is disgusting. You feel every gush, and every gush makes you wonder if that was the one that went up, around and/or down and got onto your panties or pants.

Stitches: oh this was charming too and I only needed three stitches. You cannot properly wipe yourself because you could snag and rip a stitch, so after you pee you have to use a squirt bottle to rinse off (-50 pride points). Then, as time goes on and the stitches are getting close to dissolving, every now and then you get a serious zinger in your vajayjay. Oh, you went to sit down on a couch you've sat down on millions of times before? *zinger* Oh, you walked to the mailbox and stepped on a rock? *zinger* Oh, you contemplated getting an ice cream sundae from McDonalds? *zinger* I cannot wait for these to heal.

Pooping: this comes with the above. Even with a stool softener you honestly dread the pressure of a poop. You can just feel everything stretching down there and you aren't even pushing that hard. The weirdest sensation was that I felt like I could not pinch it off and that is more just fell out after that first initial push. All I can say: I hope it gets better.

Nipples: over the last week, I've really been tempted to see how much weight my nipples could hold up at this point. A onesie? A tank top? A brick? A flat screen? Now there's really no way to test this so don't be silly, but I really think I could at least balance a hanger on this torpedoes. My son had no chance BUT to be a great latcher because you see these pointy things coming at your face and you'd open your mouth up in terror as well. But, again, looking at your little baby and hearing how satisfied he is while chomping on your nippies takes away all your embarrassment.

So that's all for this week folks. Lots to report on, but things will slow down a bit and I'll only start posting once a week! Thanks for tuning in, and hopefully I didn't gross you out (too much)!