Babymoon Period & Rose Colored Glasses

SO yay, you have a baby. Now what?

The next two days you're in the hospital is kind of a blur. You're constantly being bothered by nurses coming in and taking vitals of you and the baby, handing out candy Ibuprofen & stool softeners (-10 sexy points) giving hearing tests and drawing blood, taking temperatures, etc.  The most annoying thing about being in there was that I had to keep a log of when I breastfed him (what time, what side and how long) and when he messed himself (at what time and whether it was poop or pee). And God forbid you didn't have that log sitting by your bedside table, because then they'd wake you up from your exhaustion coma and ask you to try to remember that information! In a way I guess it is nice because it is your first introduction into not sleeping for longer than 2-3 hours at a time.The best thing they did for us was advice on how to not kill our new little bundle of joy and excrement. They helped me feel more comfortable breastfeeding, taught Chris how to swaddle and gave some tips on a healthy lady bit recovery.

The first night we didn't sleep too well; I think I constantly checked on little Colin every 30 seconds to make sure he hadn't silently suffocated, and then with the constant interruption from nurses it was all a bit of a blur. We had some visitors the next day - and don't get me wrong it is always nice to have people around who love your kid, but it is also a bit awkward because you're a bit tore up down there and in a very unflattering hospital gown (seriously can they just get some S, M & L options?). Luckily for me I was able to shower, but you still don't feel like you smell like a bouquet of roses.

The second night, our OBGYN decided to casually mention the hospital's nursery service, which is basically where we drop off the kid with a nurse who watches them for a few hours so we can sleep. Um, hello? Why the hell isn't this in bright yellow banners hanging from every single doorway in the maternity unit?! This place really needs to up their PR game. However, as good as sleep sounded, something about leaving our new little baby just to get a few hours sleep seemed kind of wrong, but in the end I surrendered because I hadn't really slept since Thursday night! (*sidenote; Colin came out with daggers on the end of his fingers, and had scratched his little face. I ended up being glad he did because I could definitely tell it was my child when they brought him back! endnote*).

See that distinguishing little scratch mark?

Funny story: learning how to breastfed is tough, but luckily for me Colin has a strong latch. With the strong latch comes a few zingers when he first gets himself on that nipple. One time I was feeding him and he latched so hard I started to pee, and could not stop. Just absolutely no pinch off reflex was working. I said to Chris "Shh, I'm peeing..." and he said, "Are you just sitting there pissing yourself like an animal?!" which only made me pee out what was left. Thank goodness for those extra thick maxi pads and the puppy-pad-looking things they put down on the bed for...bio-hazardous...fluids.

Throughout the whole thing, you're exhausted, you're excited, you're nervous, you're proud and you get little moments like the ones below that make painful urination, random stank smells, greasy hair and unshaved legs seem less and less important.

Please disregard his hideous shirt in this picture and focus only on baby love.

Little did we know, Babymoon is over.